‘Jingoism’ Zinda Hai

If you have watched Tiger Zinda Hai, or are planning to watch, I suggest you go through the following spoof by India’s premiere web content producers “The Viral Fever”.

The video exaggerates and takes a lighter look at every element which forms the crux of any Bhai movie. From Bhai’s entry scene, to over the top action sequences to ostentatious locales and a leading lady from whom not much is expected, the video summarizes and pokes fun at formulaic garbage shoved into our throats on a popular holiday. Everyone loves holidays, but if there is one reason I am wary of them are the big budget Khan movies releasing on some of them. I don’t prejudice, I just have a bad feeling about them (read in Han Solo’s voice).

Coming to Tiger Zinda Hai. Of course he is alive! The cockiness with which Salman Khan delivers his lines almost borders on insolence and so I doubt any bomb or nuclear attack can kill him. May be love can! In fact the climax with Zoya (Katrina Kaif) being chained and Salman racing against time to save her is the only scene which gives semblance of fear in his eyes. (100 dollars for guessing if they make it out alive). I would not be surprised if an end credit scene showed him hanging out with Superman in Krypton.

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Before you chastise me for dissing on our ‘desi’ Ethan Hunt, I would like to bring to your notice the action sequences. Yes, they are well shot and lights up the screens, but the over use of slow motions to capture every vein of Salman killing the bad guys and the utter farce which the ISIL is reduced to is off putting. The movie follows the actual story of ISIL taking hostage of a few Indian nurses in Mesul back in 2014. As is the case with most Bollywood movies with an inspired storyline, this movie does not even scratch the surface of the horrifying abduction, instead reduces the dreaded terrorists of ISIL to puny gun wielding men at the mercy of our indomitable hero.

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The review will not be complete without addressing the jingoism pervading throughout the narrative. From Indo-Pak joint operation to repeated sermons on patriotism at the drop of a hat, this movie oozes with so much nationalistic fervor that the UN may just contact Salman and the director Ali Abbas Zafar. Oh, by the way, the movie also has a director. I may have missed out on talking about the direction because the entire movie feels like a montage of what heroism the hero will unleash in the next minute. I don’t care about the global threat which is the ISIL because their entire motive seems to be eliminating our Indian Spy. The US army is about to drone their city and their leader is wounded, but the only thing bothering them is Tiger and his group of specialized agents. Out of the rest of the cast, Angad Bedi catches our attention and Anupriya Goenka is honest as one of the nurses kidnapped by the terror outfit. Acting stalwarts like Paresh Rawal and Kumud Mishra are reduced to also-rans who do not get much to play with. Katrina in fact surprises us in a few scenes where she holds her own during combat. When you go into the theatre expecting nothing from her, anything good she does is just positive.

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Tiger Zinda Hain is just a money-making product of a few businessmen. I came out of the movie feeling nothing. I was not amazed neither was I entertained. In fact I was left thinking about all the things I could have done with those 350 bucks of mine.

gobblscore: 5/10

gobblpoint: You cannot escape this movie. It is running on every theatre, everywhere. For a long weekend, it is terrifying to find most of the halls showing only one movie. Specially in the smaller cities. Stay home and wait for Santa Claus instead.


Disclaimer: The images used in this post are the sole property of the makers of the film and series, and are not owned by us in any form whatsoever.

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